Bisexual women reveal frustrations of being attracted to men and women

‘People think you’re either a cheater or a swinger’: Bisexual women reveal the frustrations of being attracted to men AND women in secret confessions

  • Bisexual users of secret-sharing app Whisper confessed to their struggles
  • Many women said their sexuality isn’t take seriously by friends or lovers
  • Sexpert Tracey Cox says women should stop labelling themselves 
    Bisexuality has become a heated talking point this week in the wake of a Vogue interview that suggested Cara Delevingne’s attraction to women could be a ‘phase’.
    But according to
    secret-sharing app Whisper, the model isn’t the only one to find her sexuality shrouded in misunderstanding, with plenty of women taking the web to share their own woes.
    The anonymous women’s struggles range from not being taken seriously by their straight friends to being shunned by lesbians.
    Man yreeled off the quick-judge assumptions they faced from others regarding their choices
    ‘It’s hard being bisexual,’ one woman wrote. ‘People think you’re either a cheater or a swinger. They don’t take us seriously.’
    Another echoed the sentiment, claiming: ‘I’m so tired of people saying that bisexuality isn’t real. Yes, I like both sexes. No, I am not confused.’
    Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies and in the animal kingdom throughout history. The term itself, however, was only coined in the 19th century, and it appears many are still sceptical that it even exists to this day.
    ‘I hate being bisexual,’ one woman lamented. ‘I’d rather be fully straight or fully lesbian. It’s way harder to make people understand the in-between.’
    Another wrote: ‘I feel like even though I’m bisexual, I have to prove how queer I am.’
    Celebrities who have identified themselves as bisexual include Anna Paquin, Megan Fox, Rachel Evan Wood, Amber Heard and Drew Barrymore.
    Being bisexual can lead to a minefield of potential struggles, according to female users of secret-sharing app, Whisper
    A few women said they found it difficult dealing with members of the same sex on the grounds of their sexuality
    Actress Kristen Stewart is also bisexual, according to her mother Jules Stewart, who told the Sunday Mirror this month: ‘I’ve met Kristen’s new girlfriend. I accept my daughter loves women and men.’
    Several users of Whisper said they were made to feel inferior by lesbians for confessing their attraction to men.
    ‘I’m bisexual,’ one stated. ‘Most of the people I’ve dated have been lesbian, not bisexual. Almost every single one has made me feel ‘less-than’ because I admit that I’m attracted to men sometimes. Sucks.’
    Another woman wrote: ‘As a bi female I feel rejected by straight women because they feel intimated and by lesbian women because they think I’m greedy.’
    Some women find it so hard to explain, they wished they weren’t bisexual at all
    Many women were keen to drive home the point that it was others who were unsure about bisexuality, not them
    According to, 13 per cent of women between the ages of 18 and 44 say they are attracted to both sexes.
    Most bisexuals will not tell someone about their sexual orientation, however, until at least the age of 20.
    ‘I don’t know how to come out as a bisexual to my friends,’ one Whisper user admitted. ‘I don’t want them to think it’s just for attention.’
    ‘I’ve been in denial about being bisexual,’ another wrote. ‘I’m craving being with a woman but I have no idea how to approach them.’
    For others, their fears about coming out were rooted in their family’s attitude to bisexuality.
    Some women were evidentally not quite ready to explore their desires, despite being aware of them
    This user had a very troubling revelation about how men have reacted to her sexuality
    According to, most bisexuals won’t tell anyone about their sexual orientation until at least the age of 20
    ‘I’ve never allowed myself to have feelings for a woman beyond anything sexual because admitting I’m bi would crush my mother,’ one confessed.
    Another wrote: ‘I may be a proud bisexual feminist, but when it comes to approaching my parents about my sexuality, my confidence crumbles.’
    Some women discussed the nature of being with a man and still identifying as bisexual.
    ‘I’m a bi woman who is married to a man,’ wrote one. ‘It’s weird that most people just assume that I’m straight, or that I don’t like women any more.’
    ‘I’m a bi woman who could never be with a woman long-term,’ another stated. ‘I’m sexually attracted to men and women but have always ultimately pictured myself with a husband, not a wife.’
    One user had a very troubling revelation, writing: ‘I’m a chick, and I’m bisexual. The amount of men who have threatened to ‘fix me’ through rape is terrifying. I shouldn’t have to lie to feel safe.’

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